Aye Dee Dee

That moment when Boyfriend asks what I did with the doggie treats.

Me: (yelling from the other room) They're on the counter!

Boyfriend: What counter?

Me: The peninsula! The long counter!

Boyfriend: No, they're not! Where are they?

Me: Heavy sigh. (mumbling to myself) Men. They think the uterus is a homing device. Dragging myself out of bed at the crack of 10:45 to go show him. They're right...where are they? I just had them a minute ago.

Boyfriend: (Handing me a cup of coffee.) See?

Me (looking all over the house) Well, this is the mystery of of the century.

Boyfriend: Goodbye. I'm going out.

Me: Bring me some breakfast from the Mexican place?

Boyfriend: No! I go there on Sunday.

Me: Pleeeeeease???

Boyfriend: No!

Me: Pleeeeeease???

Boyfriend: No! There's nothing you can say that will make me go there.

Me: Pleeeeeease???

Boyfriend: Dammit, Dee!

Me: Don't forget to tell them no jalopeños.

Boyfriend: Sigh. Bye.

Me: I open the silverware drawer. The dog treats. I put the dog treats in the silverware drawer. Forgot to take my ADHD meds this morning.

Still Life

"Envy" by Kevin Brodeur, 2019, Natchez, Mississippi.  

Kevin said about his painting:  "It was that moment I looked at my green Envy Zinnias and my pink Zinnias, and they became one."

Sacagawea Shapiro

I have this friend who's one of the funniest people I know. Here's an example: We were visiting at The Eola Hotel one night and she's talking about this guy she knows.

Rachel: Well, you know, he's, like, really cool. He's a marine or navy seal or something and he actually killed Saddam Hussein's accountant.

Me:

Rachel:

Me: He killed who?

Rachel: Saddam Hussein's accountant.

Julie the Bartender: What was he doing? Crunching the numbers or something?

Me: I mean, yeah. How dangerous can an accountant be? Did he take away his calculator or something?

Rachel: Well, I dunno. But he was SADAM HUSSEIN'S accountant... 

Me:

Rachel...And I feel really bad about shooting him (the guy who shot Saddam Hussein's accountant) that one time.

Tommy: You SHOT him??

Me: You SHOT him? Where??

Rachel: In the back Forty. The pasture.

Me:

Rachel: Well, we were bird hunting and there was this low-flying bird just over a hill.

Tommy: You mean you Dick Cheney'd him?

Rachel: Yeah.

The whole night was like that. She's part Indian and part jewish. I mean, she could be a jewish Indian princess. We decided she should do a standup routine and call herself Sacagawea Shapiro.

Waiting for Release

In the Dark

He lies
in the gloom and wastes
and waits.
He is tired.

He dreams
of the time before.

The moon clings to clouds.
The dogs sing
to the unburdened air.

In the dream he lifts his son
to the sky
settles him on a red horse,
offers it a sweet.

He wakes --
the vision of his baby
laughing,
tangled in the mane
of a wild thing,
blood
spit
tears.

~Elodie Pritchartt

Natchez Walkabout

Dreamscape

Last night I dreamed I was in 
India.

Elephants and houses had

memories as long as being.

A phantom shook my shoulder.

I tried to wake,
but my dream was syrup.
I could not swim up.

I felt you touch me,

and tried to stir.

I think death will be like this:

Sticky, sweet, heavy.

And silent as a sigh.

~ Elodie Pritchartt

April 7, 2014

The Delta Bohemian gives Natchez Rave Reviews

The Delta Bohemian® posted a blog about their recent trip to Natchez and the Americana Music Triangle.  We enjoyed hosting Madge and Chilly Billy for dinner while they were here, and encourage you to read and subscribe to this amazing blog.

The Delta Bohemian is based in Clarksdale, Mississippi, where Billy and Madge offer guided tours of the Delta as Delta Bohemian Tours, and operate The Clarksdale White House and The Delta Bohemian Guest House.

Chilly Billy on the bluff at Natchez, overlooking the mighty Mississippi River
photo by Madge Marley Howell