Me: (yelling from the other room) They're on the counter!
Boyfriend: What counter?
Me: The peninsula! The long counter!
Boyfriend: No, they're not! Where are they?
Me: Heavy sigh. (mumbling to myself) Men. They think the uterus is a homing device. Dragging myself out of bed at the crack of 10:45 to go show him. They're right...where are they? I just had them a minute ago.
Boyfriend: (Handing me a cup of coffee.) See?
Me (looking all over the house) Well, this is the mystery of of the century.
Boyfriend: Goodbye. I'm going out.
Me: Bring me some breakfast from the Mexican place?
Boyfriend: No! I go there on Sunday.
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: No!
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: No! There's nothing you can say that will make me go there.
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: Dammit, Dee!
Me: Don't forget to tell them no jalopeños.
Boyfriend: Sigh. Bye.
Me: I open the silverware drawer. The dog treats. I put the dog treats in the silverware drawer. Forgot to take my ADHD meds this morning.
Elodie, since I have a few years on you, you should think of me as a "visitor from your future" in some ways. All I can tell you is that (1) this is how it starts, and (2) you won't outgrow it!
ReplyDeleteYour dumb as shit! Go back to LA.
ReplyDeleteIt's "You're," not "Your." Now who's dumb as shit? LOL!
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