Me: (yelling from the other room) They're on the counter!
Boyfriend: What counter?
Me: The peninsula! The long counter!
Boyfriend: No, they're not! Where are they?
Me: Heavy sigh. (mumbling to myself) Men. They think the uterus is a homing device. Dragging myself out of bed at the crack of 10:45 to go show him. They're right...where are they? I just had them a minute ago.
Boyfriend: (Handing me a cup of coffee.) See?
Me (looking all over the house) Well, this is the mystery of of the century.
Boyfriend: Goodbye. I'm going out.
Me: Bring me some breakfast from the Mexican place?
Boyfriend: No! I go there on Sunday.
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: No!
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: No! There's nothing you can say that will make me go there.
Me: Pleeeeeease???
Boyfriend: Dammit, Dee!
Me: Don't forget to tell them no jalopeños.
Boyfriend: Sigh. Bye.
Me: I open the silverware drawer. The dog treats. I put the dog treats in the silverware drawer. Forgot to take my ADHD meds this morning.
