Suicide Note

 So.  Time for bed.

Two Xanaxes, three Unisoms and

almost a fifth of Maker's Mark

will guarantee 

a dreamless, thoughtless sleep.

If I don't happen to wake tomorrow,

please know that it's okay.

I wasn't that thrilled with 

waking anyway.

I didn't do it on purpose 

but I didn't do it by accident

either.

Just know that I really did

love you so much more

than you realized,

and I'm really, really sorry 

for the pain I've caused.

I'm so, so sorry.

Go.  Live your life.

Grab every taste of it.

And know that I am here

where I want to be

in the good times 

of your memory.

I love you.  

I do.

But I couldn't love you enough

to keep living in such

a painful place.

And who's to say we won't see each other in 

the ever after where

all is forgiven and all is forgotten?

Editor's Note:  Please don't take this as an actual suicide note.  It's not.  I have no plan to end my existence on this mortal coil. But it HAS occurred to me on more than one occasion.  It does run in the family.  I just want to put this out into the universe in case something should happen and I can't take it back.  It's in my genes.  And it is the ultimate end.  I will never see any of you again, although I hope that you remember that I loved you more than I can say.

In the meantime, I'll see you tomorrow.