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Thursday, February 18, 2016

Adventures with Boyfriend

So this afternoon, Boyfriend and I decide to ride out to Upton's Nursery to look at some plants. We stop at Kaiser's gas station 'cause Boyfriend's thirsty. I pull my little dark, blue Impala up to the front door of the store, right behind another little dark blue Impala that I figure will be leaving any minute.
"You want anything?" Boyfriend asks.
"Yeah. Get me a water," I say.
"Okay, den," he says, and disappears into the store.
I sit there playing on my phone for about seven or eight minutes, and then here comes Boyfriend out da stow!
He's walkin' around, noticing what a nice day it is. I can almost hear the little thought bubble over his head, saying, "Do dee do dee do dee do. Ain't it nice today?"
Then he heads to the wrong little dark blue Impala.
I honk my horn.
"Do dee do dee do,"
He opens the door. Then he casually slides into the passenger seat. Whoever's in that car is sitting there smoking cigarettes.
"GIRLFRIEND!" he says, "...are you smoking......????? Gaahhhh!"
He jumps out of the car and heads toward mine.
He said that big, black guy was laughing his asssssss off!
Oh, how I do appreciate the small things in life.

So later, after Boyfriend has gotten over calling some big, black dude "Girlfriend," he comes to meet me under the hill at The Camp. He drives down Broadway and has to stop at the top of Silver Street because some guy's crossing the street.
He's crossing the street really, really slowly...
Boyfriend's just about to yell, "Dammit! Can't you see me sitting here waiting for me, you sonofabitch? What? Are you BLIND????"  when he finally notices the white cane the guy's tapping all over the street in front of him.
HAW! I can't remember the last time I had this much fun laughing at Boyfriend's foibles. Thank you, honeychile. You made my day.